WHEN ADVERTISING IS BAD FOR BUSINESS

A few years ago I discovered "Sculpey", the polymer material that can be molded into just about any shape possible. Once formed, it's baked in the oven and then can be painted with acrylics. I love this stuff and went through one of my "creative surges" awhile back,  making all kinds of interesting things, mainly lamp finials. Naturally, I decided that I should share my creations with the outside world so I gathered up my samples and went looking for interested buyers.

 

 

Having made this swirly one I have a new appreciation for Mother Nature.
Mine doesn't do hers justice.

My first stop was a local home decor shop in our 'hood. It had very trendy store front windows with lots of cool furniture, table top accessories and clothing. This just looked right up my alley so after speaking with one of the owners I made an appointment to return and meet with all three of them, my samples ready to wow them.

Who doesn't like sand dollars? It even has real sand that
I brought back from St. Simon's Island.

 

 

After small talk and thinly-masked attempts to butter them up about how wonderful their shop was (it was wonderful so this part was easy) I launched into my sales pitch about my one-of-a-kind finials, how I make them and how the owners could corner the market on them. "No other store is carrying them, you will be the first / I will give you exclusive rights and make you a deal..." My audience was very polite but subdued and one of them drifted off to make a phone call. Finally, the Ring Leader spoke. "Shells are really out right now. We like them but we just don't do shells." (Shells are out, really? Who said so, Jacque Cousteau?) "Okay, no problem, these are only samples. You just tell me what is "IN" and I can create it. What about the pineapple? Fruit never goes out of style. I hear apples and pears are big sellers," I countered.

Pineapples are said to be a sign of hospitality.
The ladies could have used a dose of it. 

Finally, the Decision Maker fessed up. "Well, actually, we might be interested in carrying them here in the store if, urm, we are still in business in the fall. We sort of spent our entire marketing budget already and business is a little slow right now." Oh dear, I felt bad for them. I also thought they had no business doing what they were doing because clearly they were clueless about how to market themselves. It turned out they had been talked into spending lots of $$$ on "Advertorial" space with a local large-format newspaper that promised huge exposure to their store in exchange for a big fat check. This did include a big party at the store and a spread in the paper, but the publication is actually a freebie and can be found in most trendy cafes and your local hairdresser's. Having been in advertising and marketing my entire career, one of the biggest wastes of your ad dollars is on anything that is over-priced, under-exposed and free to the public. This kind of advertising isn't usually seen by them as having value. If you want to spend your money on a fancy, very expensive ad in, say, Architectural Digest at least somebody had to pay ten bucks for the magazine so they figure what's in it must be worth buying, right? The poor ladies at the store had failed to grasp this basic concept and I knew they were doomed.

Packing up my wares I wished them luck and said I would be in touch in the fall (if there wasn't a For Lease sign in the window in the meantime. I didn't say this part but we were all thinking it). Three months later, the lease sign was there and all the lovely furniture, do-dads and other designer swag was gone. I feel bad for them still, although not as bad as the people who have taken the space. Apparently they sell clothing to people who were born without, or don't care about, fashion sense (in my humble opinion). This is evidenced by the dress forms adorned with emerald green feather boas, 80's sequined halter tops and a full-size red light, which I assume is there to get passersby attention if the feather boa doesn't. Something tells me they wouldn't like my finials either.

Have Birdhouse, Will Travel

A couple of years ago Paco and I were asked to design and build a one-of-a-kind birdhouse for TRAC, aka Trinity River Audubon Center, for whom we volunteer. The project, in which 20+ local artists, bird enthusiasts and architects participated, was part of an annual fundraiser for the Center. As most non-profit events like this go, the object is first and foremost to raise awareness of the Center, which in turn (hopefully) attracts more members, underwriters and sponsors. Because education is one of the cornerstones of the Audubon Society nation-wide, naturally the more school-age kids we can "reach and teach" the better. All of this takes funding, of course, which brings me back to our birdhouse.
 

In just so happened that at the same time I had become obsessed fascinated with "Tear Drop Trailers", which, if you've ever heard of them, are tiny little trailers that are, yes, shaped like a tear drop. They are kind of thick and chunky, with a curvy roof and just enough room for you, your significant other and your cat. It isn't big enough to actually swing the cat, however, so please don't try. Here is a picture of one I found online:

 

As you can see, the Tear Drop is pretty tiny but just so darn cute. The back hatch opens up into a camp-style kitchen and bar  entertainment area.

You can actually buy a kit online and build it yourself, or just buy the plans and really do the heavy lifting. There are some vintage ones out there for sale in varying states of (mostly) disrepair. There are even a few companies that are making new-fangled ones with lots of ModCons, but we are purists. If we some day have a garage we would like to build our own and then take lots of road trips, just Paco, me and our cat Chester (the one too big to swing). With my recent discovery of Tear Drop Trailers, it only made sense to create a miniature Tear Drop Trailer birdhouse for the fundraiser.

If you are so inclined, and because this blog is all about creating and repurposing things you may have lying around your house and/or garage, below are a few photos taken at various stages of completion. Most of the materials we used were what we already had, such as the uber-heavy MDF board; the only thing we bought was an aluminum kickplate from the Depot, which Paco carefully cut down for the curvy roof. Oh, maybe a little paint, too, but most folks have some of that lying around and when it's a tiny little trailer you don't need much.

 

Step One: Make a pattern. This was easy as there were lots of plans online to choose from. This is the one I started with and then improvised:

It's just amazing what you can find on the Interline when you Do the Google.

 

Then I handed it off to Paco with a very loose set of instructions, such as wheels that actually turned and a curvy tin roof. Wasting no time, Paco disappeared into his workshop where he keeps the Man Tools and went to work. It wasn't long before he emerged with this:

       

This is the rough version of the birdhouse, complete with fenders and tires.
Now it was my turn to start painting. No pressure.

  How does that man do it? In a matter of hours he had sawed, ripped and chiseled his way to create this masterpiece of engineering. I guess one explanation is that he IS an engineer so of course it would be perfect. Plus, he is creative, artistic and just so handy with those Man Tools.

 

Step Two: Paint. Get out your paint pots and put on your smock. Since I consider tomato red and bright yellow to be true retro colors naturally I chose them for the exterior of the trailer. Don't worry about scaring the birds away with bright colors as they actually are attracted to them. This is evidenced by their continued attacks on our homegrown tomatoes, whose bright red skin is like a shiny beacon daring the birds to swoop down and help themselves to our crop. Regardless, here is the finished product, painted and ready to be hitched to the star car of the highest bidder:

That's a Scissor-Tail Flycatcher adorning the name of our trailer-birdhouse.
It's all about the birds.

 

Vanity plates are a must-have.

 

Someone on my Facebook page left a comment asking if we were planning on vacationing soon in it (not realizing the actual tiny scale) and I commented to the effect that only after I had lost 100+lbs. I am flattered that it looked so authentic!

Fast forward to the night of the auction / fundraiser: the birdhouses were all sold that evening and taken home by their new owners. We have since created a more conventional birdhouse for a recent TRAC fundraiser and it, too, found a good home. We aren't sure how many more of these we will be asked to build as there are other, more exotic fundraisers on the cards (shameless teaser) but we are always ready to lend a hand.

Paco and I are blessed to have befriended so many like-minded folks ready to give their time and talents to support this very worthy cause. Non-profits can be the perfect place to give back and make a difference in someone's life. I bet there's one out there for you, waiting to be picked (just like our tomatoes).

Chairs,
Gigi