WHEN ADVERTISING IS BAD FOR BUSINESS

A few years ago I discovered "Sculpey", the polymer material that can be molded into just about any shape possible. Once formed, it's baked in the oven and then can be painted with acrylics. I love this stuff and went through one of my "creative surges" awhile back,  making all kinds of interesting things, mainly lamp finials. Naturally, I decided that I should share my creations with the outside world so I gathered up my samples and went looking for interested buyers.

 

 

Having made this swirly one I have a new appreciation for Mother Nature.
Mine doesn't do hers justice.

My first stop was a local home decor shop in our 'hood. It had very trendy store front windows with lots of cool furniture, table top accessories and clothing. This just looked right up my alley so after speaking with one of the owners I made an appointment to return and meet with all three of them, my samples ready to wow them.

Who doesn't like sand dollars? It even has real sand that
I brought back from St. Simon's Island.

 

 

After small talk and thinly-masked attempts to butter them up about how wonderful their shop was (it was wonderful so this part was easy) I launched into my sales pitch about my one-of-a-kind finials, how I make them and how the owners could corner the market on them. "No other store is carrying them, you will be the first / I will give you exclusive rights and make you a deal..." My audience was very polite but subdued and one of them drifted off to make a phone call. Finally, the Ring Leader spoke. "Shells are really out right now. We like them but we just don't do shells." (Shells are out, really? Who said so, Jacque Cousteau?) "Okay, no problem, these are only samples. You just tell me what is "IN" and I can create it. What about the pineapple? Fruit never goes out of style. I hear apples and pears are big sellers," I countered.

Pineapples are said to be a sign of hospitality.
The ladies could have used a dose of it. 

Finally, the Decision Maker fessed up. "Well, actually, we might be interested in carrying them here in the store if, urm, we are still in business in the fall. We sort of spent our entire marketing budget already and business is a little slow right now." Oh dear, I felt bad for them. I also thought they had no business doing what they were doing because clearly they were clueless about how to market themselves. It turned out they had been talked into spending lots of $$$ on "Advertorial" space with a local large-format newspaper that promised huge exposure to their store in exchange for a big fat check. This did include a big party at the store and a spread in the paper, but the publication is actually a freebie and can be found in most trendy cafes and your local hairdresser's. Having been in advertising and marketing my entire career, one of the biggest wastes of your ad dollars is on anything that is over-priced, under-exposed and free to the public. This kind of advertising isn't usually seen by them as having value. If you want to spend your money on a fancy, very expensive ad in, say, Architectural Digest at least somebody had to pay ten bucks for the magazine so they figure what's in it must be worth buying, right? The poor ladies at the store had failed to grasp this basic concept and I knew they were doomed.

Packing up my wares I wished them luck and said I would be in touch in the fall (if there wasn't a For Lease sign in the window in the meantime. I didn't say this part but we were all thinking it). Three months later, the lease sign was there and all the lovely furniture, do-dads and other designer swag was gone. I feel bad for them still, although not as bad as the people who have taken the space. Apparently they sell clothing to people who were born without, or don't care about, fashion sense (in my humble opinion). This is evidenced by the dress forms adorned with emerald green feather boas, 80's sequined halter tops and a full-size red light, which I assume is there to get passersby attention if the feather boa doesn't. Something tells me they wouldn't like my finials either.